i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
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