I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
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