That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
