When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Randomize
