Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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