I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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