at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Randomize
