So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
