she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
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