after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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