He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
i think i have herpe
just one?
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
