Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Randomize
