He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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