So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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