ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
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