You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
