I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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