Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
