Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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