it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Randomize
