Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
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