I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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