did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Randomize
