i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
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How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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