i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
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