you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
