I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
