Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
