I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
