i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
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She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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