i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I lost the right to judge tonight
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize