i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
