I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
Randomize
