i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
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