naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Randomize