so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
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