Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize