you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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