Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Randomize
