I think I am morally bankrupt
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
