Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
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