She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
