This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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