Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
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