Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
I enjoy the company of your penis
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