So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Randomize
