At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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