I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
sex in a hospital.. check
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize
