He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize