I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
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