It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
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