see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
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