I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize