Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
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