Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
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