those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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