The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
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