at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Randomize