so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Randomize
