When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Randomize